The Secret Diary of a Female Dieter

So a bag of Yesterday's News cat litter weighs 14lbs and I've lost half that already

When I've lost two of them I'll know that's a real achievement (ideally it will be three, but two will do!)

A half hearted attempt at the Ministry of Sound 'Pump it UP' workout and a quick shower later and I'm feeling almost my normal self. Slightly lethargic still but on the up at least.

Heavy on the bread again today due to lazy lard-arse slack ill-person behaviour. In theory I could pop out and get myself some nice salads, but it's cold and pissing it down so that'll be a NO.

Smoked pilchards on wholemeal for lunch and dinner will be baked feta and tomato salad

Time for some internet retail therapy I think

So I'm still festering away with this bug but I am determined that today will be the last day I spend on the sofa watching Wedding TV and feeling sorry for myself

I can actually feel my body deteriorating as I sit day by day doing nothing and eating comfort food (e.g. scramble on toast for breakfast today). It's been four whole days now since I left the house

That stage between flu bug and normality is a weird one and I don't really know whether I'm still sick or whether my body has just switched off and I'm feeling sluggish from doing nothing.

There's no 'on' switch that automatically tells you that you're better, wouldn't that be great

Somehow I've managed to lose another 1.5lbs this week

Remember this?

Talk about aiming high - this is what I'm going for And before you start, I just KNOW what a monumental amount of work it will take

The matter being snot that is...

So today I'm worse and I'm sitting on the sofa surrounded by snotty tissues, I just can't stop it aaahhhh

I am absolutely determined not to let this set my healthy eating off track although today could have been better. I've had sourdough toast with marmite for brekkie, fresh grilled pilchards on toast for lunch and just eaten a lean steak with sauteed white cabbage and baby potatoes for dinner. Easy food all the way (until Mr CCL cooked a lovely dinner)

I'm having a glass of red to try and cheer myself up as I've just texted my trainer and cancelled tomorrow's session. I don't think a full on training session in my current state is such a good idea, although I'm hoping to feel a little better tomorrow and if I do I will do a light half-hour workout at the gym after work.

I have literally vegged all weekend trying to get rid of this horrid cold/flu thing. I feel like I've been robbed of my weekend and set back on my journey to skinnydom. I just HAVE to feel better tomorrow so I can get back on track I'm really cross with myself and feel like a failure for succumbing to illness, I don't like this!!

I'm full of cold

Been in bed all day and just crawled out for a bowl of pasta. Now being forced to watch american football by my lovely husband who has looked after me all day.

Miserable I hope I'm over it tomorrow as i haven't exercised since Thursday and I've got to make it to my training session on Monday night. I just absolutely hate being ill

So I was really looking forward to my lunch today, a wonderful fresh homemade salad with grilled tuna, baby spinach, cannellini beans and a tangy fresh lemon and black pepper dressing.

It was sitting in the fridge at work just calling out to be eaten. So, come 1pm I trot off to the fridge, plate and fork in hand. I opened the fridge, pulled out the tub and sprung the lid off...to find a completely solid frozen hunk of food . My salad was totally frozen and ruined, darned fridge

Two apples and a piece of soda bread later I was still totally pissed off.

I've just made up for it with fresh sardines on toast and a big tomato and feta salad for dinner. Yum Yum

Gillian McKeith is on the telly, now that's a programme to keep you focused

p.s. I've lost THREE pounds this week - hurrah!

I'm currently avoiding them due to obvious fatness and the associated embarrassment factor. I simply REFUSE to let my friends who have always seen me as the 'little' one to catch a glimpse of my new found lard-arsity. No, not happening.

Anyway, I've got my first social engagement of the year coming up on 26th January - an all-girls wine and dinner night round at a friend's house. There will be people there who I haven't seen for years, university friends who last saw me two dress sizes smaller than I am now

So, that gives me just short of three weeks to perform a minor miracle.

I'm due for my first 'weigh-in' on Tuesday morning and since I've been so good this week I'm reckoning on 3 pounds off. I can already see my waist looks smaller

If I can keep up this level of weight loss for the next three weeks that'll be another 9 I can drop before the 26th, totalling 12. Almost a stone. Not perfect, but it'll do I think

Then I've got another friend's 30th birthday two weeks later and I really need to have dropped a few more by then. It's a totally different circle of friends, one that remembers me as really quite skinny so I cannot face the horror of them seeing the fat lump of lazy flubberyness I've become

Off to purchase Davina's Power of 3 and Darcey Bussell's Pilates DVDs to supplement my personal training and gym routines. I'll fit these in to my week somehow, just sleep less or something

Had a good weekend food-wise and just did a shop this morning to stock up on veg and fruit for the coming week, OH YEAH!

I read in the paper this week that apparently in New York, women on diets are constantly passing out on the subway. Now I can well believe that...

Yesterday I clearly didn't eat enough during the day at work, plus I'd been to the gym before breakfast, and all the way home on the tube I felt so lightheaded and weak, it was horrible

Soon rectified things with a lovely warming homemade lamb and spinach dopiaza and a glass of red wine

Made a promise to myself never to do that to my body again. Must take more food to work with me next week

Boiled eggs and one wholemeal toast for breakfast today, an avocado and some crackers for lunch and leftover dopiaza with bombay mushrooms tonight. God the weekends are hard...

So I'm reacquainting myself with the sounds of a grumbling stomach. I think I'd forgotten what hungry feels like Apparently hunger is the body's way of telling you that you need nourishment - who'd have thought hey? Why didn't I catch on to that before?

The days of 'pre-emptive' eating are over. Don't eat unless you're hungry, simple really

And I'm DEFINITELY hungry now...heads off to the kitchen to cook paprika chicken with wild rice, tomato salad and steamed spinach, mmmmmmm....

Good day today - breakfast was homemade muesli with low fat yogurt, followed by chicken salad and herby cous cous with loads of red pepper and tomato for lunch.